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Sunday, December 16, 2007

Why I Hate "The Real Housewives of Orange County"

I don't usually write informal rants but certain shows ignite my wrath. One of those rare shows is The Real Housewives of Orange County, a reality program alluding to both The O.C and Desperate Housewives featuring a bunch of "real" women living in a gated community in Orange County, California. The show touts itself as a real-life counterpart to The O.C. If anything, it is a lot closer to Nip/Tuck. The ladies on this program are as stretched, tanned and cured as the leather of their Hermes bags. In addition, they are boring. And tacky. Let's look at some of the episode descriptions. "Kimberly discusses the option of breast implants." "Kimberly is being pressured into upgrading her car." "Vicki attends her high school reunion." "Lauri puts her townhouse on the market." "Jeana and Kara consider posing in mother-daughter pictorial for Playboy." All of this excruciating analysis of the modern condition would be great if it were scripted by Edward Albee or John Guare. Sadly, however, the only script here is the rambling narration of five histrionic, spoiled women and their stupid self-centered families. It could have been saved from total worthlessness if its content possessed some--any--glimmer of irony. But no, sadly The Real Housewives is as serious as a dirge. Watching it, I get angry. This is not simply a program that I do not care for. No, this is personal. The Real Housewives has moved me out of the realm of pop culture critic and into a terrifying new space. I hate this show. HATE. My feelings of loathing and nausea associated with simply watching a commercial for Real Housewives is a mystery even to me. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I do not understand why so many people think these women are interesting to watch. I do not understand what is happening to television when The Real Housewives gets a third season. I sit at home, quietly enjoying Inside The Actor's Studio or Project Runway when I see a little ad run across my screen reading "Now even more Botox-y! Watch The Real Wives of Orange County!" I know I totally sound like Andy Rooney right now, but is that supposed to be funny? Who watches this? Please, I urge you, if you are a fan of the show and come across this blog, leave me a comment on why you watch it. I need to know. Because it is a bizarre phenomenon, like a bridge into some Ray Bradbury story where we all have our own shows and everyone watches each other 24-hours a day. Call it what you will--Horror show, Harbinger of Doom, Omega Reality Show, Time Capsule of the Bush Era or Rome Before the Fall-one thing's for certain: if this is what life is going to be like without television writers, I say give the WGA everything they want.


Blogger manhattan mama said...

I could not agree with you more. However, why do I watch it. Why did we watch the towers collapse over and over....morbid curiousity . I watch every week to see how much work these women can possibly get done on their faces. How much more ungrateful the children on this show can be. And ooh, ooh maybe this week the women will sit down and say our sons are really lazy, shiftless,ungrateful, self centered people..hmm maybe it's us!!!
I'm waiting week after week for the Aha moment of one of these women.
To be quiet honest women like me and you and my friends are so far removed from this it's like watching women from another planet.
You know we are suppose to only have 8 planets now..NOT!! there are still nine, the one these women live on Planet Plasticon.

2:22 PM  
Blogger rms said...

Watched recent show where 2 of the " stars got another of the "stars" to become drunk. Mildly funny until the sleazy son of one of these terrific parents tried to take advantage of this. The parent never interceded nor did any of the people there. I meet better people at the Harley shop. Money buys alot but it doesn't seem to buy class.

10:13 PM  
Blogger sophie said...

Not only that, but the show plays out like we are supposed to pity them. It's pretty tough living in Orange County. Sometimes there is a sob story about how the house renovations aren't up to par, or the diamond ring wasn't as big as Sally Sues, or the facial made her eyes too small. There are people in this world to feel bad for, but these faker-than-mannequin housewife whores are not any of them.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Mister Zip 66 said...

I have a problem with it. My wife watches it, along with my daughter and for the life of me I cannot fathom why they would expose themselves to something so shallow and worthless. Maybe its like porn is to men? Hell, I don't know. All I know is that I wished these women would become periodically broke, so they could have some thing real to complain about.

12:35 AM  
Blogger sam2012 said...

I searched " I hate real housewives shows" just because I hate these shows and I was wondering if I was the only one. So I came across your blog honestly Bravo every word you said about these shows is true tacky yes cheesy yes fake people fake feelings everything is fake. So thank you for the blog please spread the word I am sure there are a lot more of us out there. You know what they say haters don't die they multiply.

11:23 PM  
Blogger EmilyKunzite said...

I thought I was the only one who hated the show. My reasons for this hatred are different. I hate the ENTIRE "Real Housewives" franchise. All these women do is get into fights. Scream fights, slap fights, table-flipping fights. And they bully. FUCK, do they bully. I was bullied all throughout high school. I have autism, and these women scare me. Are all the rest of womanhood like that? So blinded to their little dramas that they cannot see that Rush Limbaugh called one of us women a "SLUT"? Are they even aware that women in Afghanistan still wear burkas and have to become boys to even get an education? Are they even aware how much they nearly drive me insane with anger, and I think about protecting myself with a gun? It frightens me to even go there. How could these women be so Dr. EVIL?

9:47 PM  
Blogger Josh Mason said...

All I gotta say is I lose IQ points just by being *near* a TV that is tuned to Real Housewives, and not even trying to watch it. This show kills more brain cells than FOX News.

3:25 PM  

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