Celluloitering

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

Snakes on a Motherf*cking Plane

Snakes on a Plane is possibly if not probably one of the most amusing action films I have ever seen. This is not to say that you will definitely love it. SoaP, as it has come to be known online, will seriously polarize its audience. Either you will run out into the street singing its praises or you will repeatedly wash your hands while rocking ever so slightly back and forth. But in a country full of boring, safe films that leave audiences feeling nonplussed, isn’t it nice to see something that brings out passionate responses? I say Yessssssss.

It would be ridiculous for me to explain the plot. It’s all there in the title. There are snakes, and they are on a plane. Technically, the snakes have been placed on the plane by mob boss Eddie Kim in an attempt to assassinate a key witness for the prosecution against him. When Eddie is asked by one of his colleagues why he went with a crate full of poisonous snakes as a murder weapon, he replies, “Don’t you think I exhausted every other option??” Um…right. I suppose that putting arsenic in the room service scrambled eggs or blowing up his police escort were just too much trouble. Ridiculousness aside, there is a plane full of snakes, and they bite a lot of people.

What did I love about this movie? First and foremost, the excellent b-list character actors that squeeze every possible laugh out of the mediocre script. Especially good are David Koechner (better known as Champ Kind from Anchorman) as the lecherous pilot, Kenan Thompson as the PS2 addict who has to land the plane and Rachel Blanchard (TV's “Clueless,”) as a nicer, cooler caricature of Paris Hilton. Of course, Samuel L. Jackson kicks ass and Juliana Marguiles makes a very believable flight attendant (although let's be honest—how man flight attendants in their forties look as good as she does?). The humor is broad, the gags are tacky and the gore is seriously disgusting. I loved it.

What did I hate about this movie? Only the end credits, featuring a music video from a band called—ahem—Cobra Starship. I guess that’s the SoaP version of Jefferson Starship. Anyway, it really sucks, so get out of the theatre before the credits start to roll.

The amount of money I would pay to see this movie: Considering I did not feel cheated in the least, I'm gonna give this motherf*cker $8.

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